Happy New Year, beloveds!

May this be the year when the inhabitants of Earth wake up and learn the benefits of expanded consciousness.  With the absence of judgment, expectation and self-rightousness and the presence of pure love, respect and appreciatiion of all others, human kind will evolve and the planet will flourish!

Will every small step each of us takes in the cultivation of our own consciousness, the vibration of the human collective will rise.  For world peace, be peace. For universal love, be love. For cosmic joy, be joy.

Love and Blissings!!

Meloney

From the start, I became immersed in the beautifully-written adventure of a woman’s self-discovery, facilitated by two men –  her loyal boyfriend and her mystical teacher. Driven by a plethora of zesty, sexy scenes that illustrate the many dimensions of love, I found myself most excited by the exchanges between the main character and her teacher, a master of energetic exchange. Completely engrossed by words I never find in my usual book fare, I clearly envisioned the action, and felt myself enjoying the emotions, passion and magic shared between the characters.  I found myself replacing the main character with me, and as I read about their eye gazing, passionate kisses and intimate connection, I actually experienced it on a visceral level. Throughout my days of reading, I felt the same excitement and energetic boost that I feel when attracted to a living being.  

Which lead me to a great awakening; fantasy is as important as reality. Quantum physics tells us that our thoughts become things, and in my case, my mind’s-eye pictures of a sexy, energetic exchange with a romantic man stimulated a true physical and energetic reaction; my serotonin raised, libido increased, my mood heightened to a joyful level - all of the wonderful things that happen with an attraction to a living human being.

Scientific studies reveal that love and sex help us remain healthy and youthful. I believe we can achieve similar emotional, physical and spiritual benefits through a fantasy beloved as with the real thing.  So if a romantic relationship eludes you, don’t fret – the feelings of love and excitement from a beloved are but a thought away. With or without a romance novel, falling in love with a figment of your imagination will help you feel sexy, healthy and joyfully radiant! 

By the way, the novel that inspired this fantasy talk is A Wicked Awakening by Calinda B.  The ebook is available and highly recommended!!  

     We normally think of sexy as a physical display to attract a sexual partner. But authentic ‘sexy’ is a positive, energetic vibration that emanates from the body and passionately embraces the entire universe and everyone in it as the eternal beloved. Those who come into contact with a sexy person are uplifted into a state of joy and become beacons of a higher vibration themselves, their own luminosity beaming to the next person, until the entire community is infused with a loving and joyful overtone.  

     A sexy woman doesn’t worry about pushup bras and heels. She adorns herself with a smile, an open-heart, non-judgment and full-presence, and establishes a soulful connection with each person she meets. Her genuine charisma turns heads, intrigues and inspires.

     Sexy isn’t a divine gift possessed by only a few special women –  all women have it. ‘It’ is raw, sexual energy, which resides in the pelvis and vagina, which can be boosted into powerful, personal energy and a positive, interpersonal influence with a couple of simple techniques. These techniques were developed centuries ago by Tantric arts practitioners, who discovered that harnessing and guiding one’s own physical energy, particularly sexual energy, will purify the body and prepare it to unite with the divine. The resulting, energetic radiance transcends the physical and encompasses the ethereal, and envelops both the practitioner and those around her with feelings of peace and love.

     For women, techniques include pumping the muscles of the pelvis and vagina to stimulate the energy and using focused breath to distribute it through the body. The following simple exercises, based on these Tantric techniques, provide a fun way for you to fully experience your feminine body, and generate your energy, boost your sexiness and become a heavenly influence on the planet.     

 Squeeze and Release

     This easy vaginal exercise can be performed anytime and anywhere – at work, while driving or talking on the telephone.

     Inhale through the nose to fill lungs. Once full, tightly squeeze the vaginal and anal muscles and hold for 10 seconds. Exhale slowly while gently releasing the muscles until completely relaxed. Wait five seconds, then repeat.

     Perform 10 times total, several times a day.

 Dance with Hip Thrusts and Breath

     Dance to rhythmic music and fully engage the pelvis by thrusting the hips forward and tilting back, moving to the beat.

     When the hips are thrust forward, squeeze the vaginal muscles tightly and exhale saying “ooh,” the sound to stimulate sexual energy. Tilt hips back so that buttocks stick out, inhale through the nose and relax vaginal muscles. Thrust forward again. Continue the thrust and tilt, fully experiencing the movement of your hips. Verbalize “ooh” with each thrust. Rub your hands sensually over your body as you dance. Proceed until you feel sexually aroused.     

     At this time, stand still, inhale through the nose and visualize the energy moving from the vagina into the body. Hold the breath and squeeze vaginal muscles tightly. Hold for as long as is comfortable. Release the breath and relax vaginal muscles. Repeat the breath process six more times.

     Perform several times a week.   

By this time, you may know that the possible shut down of the government was due to the debate of Planned Parenthood, and ultimately the Pro-Choice issue, which continues to be hot topic in the political domaine.  See this article that explains why.

The good news is that Planned Parenthood can continue to support women’s health and women’s rights remain intact. At  the moment. The scary news is that rights of women are challenged every day, as the masculine ideal (held by both men and women), that a woman’s body and personal decisions are matters of the government, rather by the woman, prevail.   

Women have a big lesson to learn:  If we are to maintain control of our body and reproductive rights, we must be responsible for it. While government programs are important to help women, especially those of low socio-economic populations, we must not become dependent on it. We must shift our consciousness from one of dependence and  to one of giving, learning, teaching and empowering all women, of all walks of life to take charge of their own sexual lives and health. This is not an issue of politics, but of women’s empowerment.

How did the government get involved anyway?  Long ago, women ruled their own bodies, and empowered themselves with education and natural resources for birth control and healthcare. With the rise of patriarchal influences in church and politics, woman became the domain of man, who stripped them of their natural practices and traditions, and created laws to keep them in line.  

What would happen if Planned Parenthood was cut?  What if pro-choice becomes outlawed?  What would women do?  It’s time for women to wake up and realize that, while our government has been generous in funding and supporting women’s health and rights, it’s woman’s personal and collective responsibility to take care of themselves.  Modern woman has become lackadaisical and dependant on outside forces to decide for her. Now is the time to make positive changes for womankind, before the governmental makes laws to control our bodies forever.

WOMAN'S SELF-RESPONSIBILITY

Following are a few steps toward feminine self-responsibility. Let’s begin to exercise them immediately.  These are empowering practices for women, no matter what your political perspectives are. Perhaps by our next generation, women will be conscious and responsible with their bodies, and the debate on who presides over women’s reproductive health will be a thing of the past.

Educate our daughters, sisters and all young women 

We are not doing enough to educate our daughters and sisters about their bodies and their sexuality. Too many young women loath their bodies and its functions, and unconsciously engage sexually without insights about the spiritual repercussions. As responsible women, we need to change this. It us up to us, not the government or school system, to teach young women about the power, mystery and beauty of their feminine bodies,  to help them understand the body’s functions, changes, and abilities, and to train them to monitor the cycles of their body and to honor these cycles. 

It is up from us, not Planned Parenthood or any other organization, to teach our daughters not just sex education, but conscious sexuality education, in which the multi-dimensional aspects of intimate union are explained. Let’s share information about the traditions of old, when initiation rituals welcomed women to womanhood, and when men looked to women as the vehicle of enlightenment. It will give our daughters a new perspective of themselves as women, and provide them with a new framework from which to make decisions about their sexuality, which could result in more welcomed pregnancies, and fewer unwanted ones.    

Become a Positive Role Model

Our media is obsessed with misbehaving celebrities, and our televisions and magazines are filled with stories of their latest escapades of Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan. This distorts our daughters’ perceptions of what is acceptable behavior. With few positive, female role models in our culture, and it is up to us, as mothers, big sisters and friends, to provide a model of empowering, feminine behavior. We must subjugate the media’s focus on addiction, breaking the law, abusive relationships and unfit mothering with positive actions, such as creative expression, community service and socializing, enterprising activities, and more.  By becoming women who embrace our own natural qualities of creativity, community, nurturance and cyclical natures, we can lead the way for young women to become responsible, self-loving and positive influences on the planet.

Take birth control into our own hands, and learn alternative methods.

Unwanted pregnancy is perhaps the biggest personal and social issue for women in our culture. So with the pill and other birth control methods, why are there still so many unplanned pregnancies?  I believe the reasons vary from lack of discipline, to birth control methods that are unsafe, uncomfortable and complicated.  

As responsible and empowered women, I recommend the exploration of natural birth control to add to our arsenal of self-responsibility.  Pharmaceutical companies aren’t the only resource, herbalists and other natural practitioners broaden our options with education, techniques and natural remedies.

Herbal birth control is practically as old as humankind, and the use of herbs for any healing purpose was driven underground in the Dark Ages of Europe. Today, herbalists are emerging and answering a call for safer and more natural methods of general and sexual health, including pregnancy prevention. Herbs are powerful medicine that, when used with care and following the advice of an herbalist, can support women’s health through all ages of her life, from her fertile years to menopause.

Learning about alternative health methods is empowering, as it adds to our self-responsibility. Two resources are Susan Weed and Sister Zeus.

Rhythm Method and Cervical Mucus Method are two more birth control methods a woman can take into her own hands.  Conscious birth control, coupled with self-discipline, is empowering for women and safe.  Double emphasis on self-discipline.  A cooperative Method Of Natural Birth Control By: Margaret Nofziger  is a good book for reference.

 What if  . . . unwanted Pregnancies

Let’s face it, every day the right to abortion is on a political precipice, with powerful forces trying to take the ‘right to choose’ from all women. Truly, abortion is a much more than a political issue, but one of spiritual and personal values, and whether or not you believe in the right to choose, and whether abortion remains legal or not, women will continue to seek abortion as a method of eliminating unwanted pregnancies. Pro-choice does not mean unwanted pregnancies are to be terminated. It provides an option for unwanted pregnancies. In days of old, women who didn’t want babies terminated their pregnancies through natural means. In many cultures, infanticide – the killing of newborns, often of barbaric means – was, and still is, a common practice, illustrating a measure of desperation of families too poor or unfit for a child. By all measures, abortion, while an unpleasant choice, is a more merciful practice.

With the right to abortion, women have become reliant on abortion clinics, which provide a safe means of termination. But these clinics are not the only option. Two other more natural practices, one which was used for centuries, are available. They include herbs and menstrual extraction. Please note that these are administered by experts, and not to be used in experimentation, as they can be harmful. But they are options that the government can not control.

Menstrual extraction is a non-medical and gentle method of removing a woman’s flow with simple tools by non-medical practitioners. First introduced in the U.S. in the early 1970s, the technique can be learned in a few weeks, with hundreds of women currently performing with rare incidences of infection or complications.   

Herbs, as mentioned earlier, are an age-old remedy for birth control and even termination. See Susan Weed and Sister Zeus.  

Conclusion

Women: let’s become responsible, conscious and healthy.  Yes, we love a government that supports the advancement of women, but by becoming educated, we become empowered to take care of ourselves, no matter what the political climate may be.

  
Go with the Flow and Know When to Stop Pushing a Boulder Up Hill
Karen has been guided to where she is. “I sort of went with the flow and maybe just playing out my destiny.” She believes that if you go with the plan Goddess has for you, it works. If you don’t, you’re challenged in a way that is like rolling the boulder up-hill.  In this case, stop wasting time. “Goddess is saying, ‘this is not where to put your time.’ Often, Goddess's plan might appear as a bump in the road that takes you in a direction that is more authentically your direction.”

“We are here working with our monkey brains and we don’t always know what’s best for us. When you realize you’re not in control, you are actually liberated. Always do your best, but sometimes things go wrong, and when they do, there’s always a lesson or gift in it. Look for it, and don’t dwell on how bad it is.”

Surround Yourself with Supportive People
“When you surround yourself with people who support you, nurture you and believe in you, and who aren’t critical and jealous, you become a blossoming flower. Don’t be with people who use you or who don’t have your best interest at heart. Women, especially, need to learn from each other and support each other.”

Karen credits the support of her husband, Roy, in the completion of her books. Coming home from her day job at 5:00pm and working on her book until 2:00am, Roy helped along the way, taking care of the domestic duties while Karen wrote. “That’s why I dedicated my second book to him.”

Have Faith
Karen is often reminded that Goddess has always taken care of her. “Life is good, with enough money.” She has no pension, yet something in her core assures her everything is going to be alright.  “I’m not sure what that inner knowing is, but I don’t question it. I just keep doing what I’m doing.”

Karen used to work in corporate American, and decided that working in a cubicle or office environment wasn’t for her. And while her current day job as an apartment manager is far below her professional capabilities, it is fairly stress-free and gives her time to think about her work. “It’s a trade off. I’m trading money for experience.” 

Karen cites the work of psychologist Eric Fromm, who theorizes there are two modalities of people – one needs money and things, the other wants to ‘be’ and values experience over money in the bank. Karen is the second type, which is why traveling and doing all the she does is more important to her than money. “That’s the Goddess way – it’s about learning and sharing, not being capitalistic.”
“Once I found Goddess, I experienced personal empowerment. Now it has segued into cultural awareness and politics. Yes, Goddess has helped me, but can this also help the world?” 

To learn more about Karen and her valuable work, see www.karentate.com.

As a facilitator of the Energetic Arts, my primary objective with students is to expand their consciousness of themselves and others as energetic beings. I find that this foundational awareness automatically enhances their ability to create harmonious, loving and expansive relationships with themselves, their friends and their beloveds. Once a person is introduced to their subtle body energies and explores the energy of the self and others, relating is never the same. Similar to learning the difference between boys and girls when we were young, learning about our energy provides a new perspective of ourselves, others and life, and influences the way we approach and respond to others and life itself.  

For couples, I offer a practice called the Three Degrees of Energetic Connection, through which relating transcends the primarily psychological/emotional rapport to a multidimensional, energetic and spiritual connection.  The three degrees include: Consciousness, Allness and Oneness.  In practice, the degrees build one each other. Until we become completely aware of the first degree of Consciousness, it will be difficult to relate at the Second Degree of Allness, and so forth.

The Three Degrees of Energetic Connection include: 

First Degree

Cool:  Consciousness 

• Acknowledgement of self as divine. Knowing and loving the Self.
• Awareness of subtle energy throughout the body, including the chakras and meridians.  
• Learning to connect with and control our energy.
• Becoming fully-present and aware of our place in the earthly and cosmic realms.

 Second Degree

 Warm:  Allness    

• Acknowledging the divine in all others. Fully seeing and being with others, no matter who they are. 
• Consciousness of energy that flows between self and others, relating to another, whether they are a stranger, friend or beloved. 
• Consciously connecting with others.

 Third Degree

Hot:  Oneness     

• The bliss of fully connecting, energetically and physically, with a beloved.
• Loving, deep connection.
• Experiencing each other’s body and soul.

First and Second Degree Connections:  Acknowledge the Divine Within the Self and Others

The first essential step in creating loving relationships is to acknowledge the Self as divine. As we awaken to our vastness as divine beings, and experience others as divine, we can relate to ourselves, others and life with a greater capacity of love, forgiveness and kindness. We are much more than flesh and bones, but a container for our soul energy. We, as soul, are a divine emanation of the God/dess or Higher Power, on an earth journey to expand and express. Practice seeing yourself, not as you, but as divine, as your soul. Allow your soul to express itself, and appreciate it for all that it is. Be loving and gentle with yourself, for this is a journey and every turn offers a new experience.

Acknowledge that every human on the planet is a Divine Being on her or his own journey, and honor them for the facet of God/dess that she/he represents. Practice seeing others as divine. See beyond their flesh, and experience their soul. Feel love and patience as they maneuver through life. They, too, are experiencing newness every day.

Third Degree Connection:  Tantric Kiss

The Tantric Kiss is a simple, but powerful, gesture that you can practice with your beloved during a myriad of situations, from love-making to diffusing emotions during a fight, and the result is always the same  –  a loving and calming connection.

Stand face to face, look into each other’s eyes. Take a breath together, exhale together. Embrace. Gently place touch your foreheads together so that the area between your eyebrows, known as the Third Eye, touch.  Close your eyes and remain connected for a few moments. Feel your love well up and radiate between your hearts. Feel your psychic connection, understanding the perfection of your relationship. Remain in this position for as long as time allows. Separate physically, and feel the connection remain between you for the rest of the day or night. 

Relationships are not for the faint of heart. But with information that can assist on all levels, from communication to energetic awareness, all relationships can become a joyful experience of expansion and growth.

Blissings!

A long time ago, it was a lot easier to date. The rules, as outlined in a very influential holy book, stated: only married people have sex, a woman’s role in life is to marry and live under her husband’s rule, and men should avoid the seductress, for she is evil. Until the 1950s, these rules provided a framework for dating. 

In a more contemporary time, another best-selling book called, The Rules, offers guidelines to “capture the heart of Mr. Right,” including: don’t talk to a man first, only casual kissing on the first date, wait at least three dates for sex. While these rules work for some women, they don’t empower all women to be who they are, and in such cases, they don’t attract Mr. Right, but Mr. Right for these Rules. 

The best rules are your own. These rules define what’s appropriate for you on a date. They reflect your true and healthy nature, guide you to act honestly, and empower self-responsibility and acceptance of the outcome. With your rules, you feel good about yourself during and after the date, whether you meet Mr. Right or not.

For example, if your rule permits French kissing on the first date, but he doesn’t call afterwards, he’s not a jerk, and you’re not a floozie. You did what you wanted to do, acted in a way that is natural for you, and enjoyed the intimacy and adventure of it. He didn’t take advantage of you, he accepted your invitation. Feel good about it!

As time goes on, should your rule for French kissing no longer reflect who you are, it is okay to change it.

Game is on! Write the code of your own ethics, be true to yourself, and maybe you’ll meet someone who syncs with your rules. And you’ll have fun playing in the meantime.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/206752/how-to-look-good-naked-layla

Opening with a male host walking down the street followed by a group of women, he exclaimed, “I’m here to start a perception revolution. Join me if you think beauty extends beyond size zero. Come along with me if you don’t want to be like four out of five women who hate their bodies. Unite if you’re ready to turn body loathing into body loving.”  OMG!  A show with a Positive Energy mission! 

Fashion expert Carson Kressley (who made his initial splash on the Bravo Network’s “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”) hosts the show and coaches women to help them “unlearn terrible self-image,” and “not only love her body, but flaunt it – naked!”  In this episode, Layla was his project. With a sincerely caring and supportive demeanor, Carson uses a variety of tactics to put into perspective this woman’s distorted perceptions of her body.

In one eye-opening perception exercise, Carson invited Layla to a room with a line-up of six women, arranged from smallest hips to largest, and asked Layla to place herself where she thought she fit in, according to her hip size. Layla place herself between two women on the higher end of the inch scale. Surprise, surprise, Carson placed her where she actually fit in, second from the thinnest woman.  A great illustration of how inaccurate our self image can be.

Through the show, Carson accompanied Layla through a bra fitting (she normally wore a 36C, but was introduced to a properly-fitted bra, a 36E [and by the way, 85% of women wear the wrong size]), and a wardrobe search for her most flattering styles, and a hair cut for a new sophisticated look. Through each process, and with Carson’s cheering on and assurances, Layla’s self-image improved, and by the fifth day, she was confident enough for a nude photo shoot (PG-rated.)

I couldn’t stop smiling as I watched the subdued and weepy woman with low self-esteem transform into a sassy, confident and radiant being who loved herself.  And I loved watching this man, who judges Miss USA and Miss Universe Beauty Pagents, instill self-love in an everyday woman.

And yes, while beauty is far deeper than skin and clothing, feeling good about the way we look is part of our positive package. And perhaps Layla’s time with Carson was but the beginning of a whole new chapter for Layla. For all we know, her new-found confidence launched her in areas she never dreamed of.

For a half-hour of women-postive entertainment, watch How To Look Good Naked.  It was one of Lifetime’s most popular shows in the 2008 season.

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2010/12/10/women-at-work-should-smile-less-to-earn-more/

     Just the title of the article offended me. My inner radar spun around in circles as my logical mind grasped for understanding. Was this some insidious propaganda to defeminize women?  A ploy to solidify in our business culture a distaste for the positive and natural tendencies of women? As a professional who has worked in the corporate sector for many years, striving for success, smiling all the way, I felt as if this were a cultural threat. So, if I smile too much, even if I accomplish lofty goals, use talent and ingenuity to help the company to profit, and am a strong team-player, I don’t earn as much as my peer, Bill?  Is THIS the reason women get paid less than men for the same job? Because we smile too much?  What about men? Should they smile less to earn more, too?

     I felt chagrin as I dove into the article. “In this tough economy, employers don't want women employees lacking in confidence   . . . in many cultures, including American, smiling is a sign of surrender, not strength -- nevermind power.”  Wow!  Nothing makes me frown faster than the devaluation or misinterpretation of a positive expression.  

      But I literally sneered as I read, “This is still a patriarchal culture and it's expected that women will know their place by smiling when entering a room, a meeting, a new situation. But then allow that smile to slide into an attentive facial expression which communicates high engagement in what's going on.” 

     It’s expected that women will know their place?!  Engagement in what’s going on?  What?!  Isn’t this the 21^st Century?  Women are dominating the work force right now! I had to double check that I wasn’t reading an excerpt from Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Book of Etiquette published in 1952! 

     Do men feel so destabilized by a woman’s smile that they demerit her when she uses it?  Why don’t they appreciate a smile for what it is – an expression of goodwill, cooperation, approval, appreciation, joy, goodness and confidence. Yes, confidence!  And people with confidence in their professional skills and in themselves smile a lot and are excellent employees who deserve good earnings.

     I investigated the topic of smiling a little further and found an article in Science Daily called, Women Smile More Than Men. It features findings from a study conducted by Marianne LaFrance for the National Science Foundation, who determined that, “Women do smile more than men, but when occupying similar work and social roles, the gender differences in the rate of smiling disappear.” 

     That makes sense to me. Who smiles while strategizing the next quarter’s business plan, discussing budgets or dealing with personnel issues?  Neither women nor men. Should anyone of any gender smile inappropriately during such times, they would not look powerful, but rather insane, and don’t deserve high earnings. 

     LaFrance’s study also revealed a gold nugget: “When there is tension in the air, women more often than men try to diffuse it with a smile. Women do what we call 'emotion work' and one of the best ways to do this is to smile to soothe hurt feelings, to restore harmony."  

 (See the full article: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/03/030319080920.htm)

      Well, finally. The smile gets some credit in the business world, and it makes sense that a woman’s smile has that kind of healing power.  Women, as emotional and intuitive beings, use their smiles  in a number of powerful and positive ways, both in and out of the conference room:  to restore harmony, invoke camaraderie, offer encouragement, create a positive environment, rally cooperation and so many more.  Smiling should be considered a very valuable service to a company, and if there were a way to monetize the value of a smile, the patriarchal business culture may actually encourage smiling among their employees, and reward them in their paychecks.

     The Women at Work Should Smile Less article, Hillary Clinton, lawyer Gloria Allred, television reporter Diane Sawyer illustrate "success" because they “tend not to flash the pearlies. A half smile, then they get down to business.”  While I like and greatly respect the work of each of these powerful and competent women, I would like to create a list of women who are successful because of their smiles, power and competence, including: Oprah Winfrey (hello!), PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi (who oversees $ billions and sings karaoke at corporate gatherings.  (Google her picture and you’ll see her radiance.)  Author and women's advocate Suzanne Somers, and television show host and chef Rachel Ray, to name but a few. 

     Let’s take a look at Catie Kuric’s smile history.  As the sweetheart of America on the NBC’s Today show, she garnered the show high ratings with her bubbling personality and charismatic smile. But then she was wooed by CBS to anchor their Evening News, with hopes that she would increase their ratings. But the effervescent Catie had to cool her joyful jets and deliver the day’s highlights with low-wattage radiance, and barely a wisp of her once charismatic grin.  And the CBS ratings didn’t rise.

     So I have this to say to women: SMILE, no matter what the patriarchal, business world propaganda machine tries to tell you. It is absurd to correlate our income with our natural gifts of smiling, and we are the ones that need to shift the paradigm. Show that you can be confident, competent, productive and effective, and can do it all with a smile!  And when we ask for a salary or raise that you earned and deserve, show your bright pearly whites!!