Entries in self-esteem (3)


* Self-Love and Relationships

 “I love everyone, and you’re next!”

The refrigerator magnet displaying these exuberant words describes the loving nature of its owner, my friend Lilly.  Lilly exudes an infectiously loving vibration toward everyone she meets. Her smiles, embraces, and energetic connections melt even the coldest of hearts, for they feel her sincere full-presence and compassion. Harmony reigns in Lilly’s friendships and marriage, for they’re built on a foundation of respect, appreciation and love – for her loved ones and herself.  

Such a strong expression of outward-flowing love comes from deep inner-love and high self-esteem. Lilly’s effusive love for others is a result of her exploration and appreciation of her own unique body, mind and soul. By honoring the truth of who she is, she can more clearly appreciate and respect the individual natures of others. In her interpersonal relationships, Lilly’s self-esteem is demonstrated with not just an open heart, but also with strong boundaries, honest communication and self-care. These enable her to cultivate and enjoy healthy relationships based on truth, mutual-respect and love.

If everyone possessed Lilly’s high self-esteem, harmony would reign in all relationships on the planet -  from intimate to political. Humanity would head toward another Renaissance and away from collapse.

Dr. Lori BuckleySelf-love and relationship is the topic that Dr. Lori Buckley and I recently discussed on her podcast show, Looking for Love.  Dr. Lori is a brilliant therapist who has helped hundreds of women and men navigate through their relationship challenges. She also believes that strong self-esteem as a necessity for a healthy relationships.  

In this show, we share ideas and exercises that help women enhance their self-love. Dr. Lori, who is down-to-earth and overflowing with positive energy, provides a psychological perspective, while I offer information from a spiritual and energetic angle. In this entertaining exchange of insights we hope to inspire and encourage women everywhere to develop a foundation of exuberant self-love, so that all relationships, and indeed, the entire planet, can become more loving.

You can hear this episode of the Looking for Love with Dr. Lori Buckley podcast on iTunes. Look for the “Self Love.” Episode.

To learn more about Dr. Lori Buckley and her work, go to DrLoriBuckley.com



* Body Love

We see plenty of articles and ads that tell us how unattractive crow’s feet, heavy thighs, stretch marks and our other physical imperfections are. Well, this article is to tell you how beautiful they are. Every scar, wrinkle, missing part, or protuberance is a beauty mark and a badge of honor for who you truly are. 

Your life is your greatest gift, and your presence on the planet at this time is your gift to the world. Once you understand the vast richness of your life, your wrinkles and cellulite can be perceived as wonderful adornments, and not things to be loathed and fixed.

Resist the programming of the beauty industry, which tries to set standards of perfection and eternal youth. Instead, see the glory in each of your unique qualities and physical features - just as they are. Adopt the attitude that they are things to honor and love, knowing that you’re perfect, beautiful and sexy just as you are.

By looking at yourself holistically, as a physical being and spiritual being on Earth, you will soon love your features.  Your life decisions, experiences and genetics have formed your magnificent form and beauty. They also contribute to our unique character. Giving birth, indulging in an abundance of delicious food, even unfortunate mishaps, not only shaped your physical attributes, they formed your unique character. The accidents that caused your scars may have also made you a stronger woman as a result. Your flabby muscles may be the outcome of your primary focus to study and develop your intellect.

Become conscious of how your features may influence the way you present yourself to the world. Instead of hiding, hating, and feeling embarrassed or ashamed of them, embrace and love every aspect of them, and proudly appreciate and display your unique physical qualities. They tell your story and make you an interesting person.

Here’s a powerful beauty exercise called Body Love. Closely examine a part of your body that you don’t particularly like or wish to ‘fix.’ Write down its memoirs and capabilities, including your life choices, happenstances and talents that helped to form it. Also list how it contributed to who you are today. If you were born with a particular feature, focus on how it formed your present-day identity. 

This simple exercise will help you see the value of your special features, and help you to perceive them as marks of exquisiteness. You may actually love them for all they say about you, and for all that they do for you.

For example, by beauty industry standards, my hands aren’t attractive or feminine-looking.  When I was younger, I tried to keep them from view. But now I honor every age spot and scar, for they hold stories of my adventures. And I love them for their capabilities to create art and write and do an infinite number of other things. Yes, I use hand creams to keep them as healthy and smooth as possible, but I don’t hide them or feel ashamed of them.

I am an advocate of healthy living and treating our body with respect. And if you do decide to change your body, it will be a conscious choice, rather than a response to the pressure of beauty industry standards.

But by honoring yourself exactly as you are, you will love yourself more deeply. We’ll also behold and appreciate the vast differences and unique features of others.  This would be a beautiful thing! 


* Keep Your Eyes on the Prize

Besides love, beauty, sexiness, one of the greatest feelings a woman can experience is the sense of accomplishment. Whether it’s completing a painted masterpiece, delivering a well-executed professional project, or receiving a course certification, getting the job done and done well sparks euphoria, boosts the spirit and lifts self-esteem. Seeing what our own hands and minds have created can often render in us awe of ourselves and our capabilities.

While some may believe that achievement is a “masculine” quality, it’s very much woman’s nature to conceive, develop and birth our ideas and gifts in to the world. Our accomplishments are the tangible results of our soul’s expression and growth, and often reflect our purpose on the planet. Humanity would have never evolved if women had not pursued their inspirations and taken the steps to bring them to fruition. Women invented writing, plant cultivation, weaving and potter-making.  We managed temples (which in ancient times were also the business centers), discovered medicines and healing technologies, and created art and music. We were priestesses, warriors, teachers, laborers and queens. All of humanity benefited from the fulfilled dreams of these individuals.

You, too, can bring to life your dreams, especially if it is a calling from your heart and soul, and activated by your attention and energy. By accomplishing a dream, you fulfill an aspect of your purpose on the planet, and take a step closer to who you’re meant to be in this lifetime. And your ideas may possibly benefit the rest of the world.

One easy tool that stewards an idea into an accomplishment is goal-setting with a Plan of Action. A Plan of Action outlines each step to be taken to reach the ultimate goal. This tangible reference document helps you to keep your eyes on the prize and remain motivated until the day your dream is fulfilled.  Ticking off each step as it’s completed inspires a spirited mini-celebration, which radiates into the Universe and attracts the people and opportunities that help you reach the finish line.  

Writing a Plan of Action is simple and described in “CREATING YOUR PLAN OF ACTION,” an excerpt from Sexy, Spirited and Strong, Becoming a Positive Energy Woman. Download it here and get started today!! 

Let 2014 be a positive year of many accomplishments. May you fulfill all of your dreams and let your purpose on the planet become powerful and potent.

Love and Blissings!