* Rules of Dating

As today’s culture becomes more sexually liberated, dating seems to have become a game sport with few rules.   

A long time ago, it was a lot easier to date. The rules, as outlined in a very influential holy book, stated: only married people have sex, a woman’s role in life is to marry and live under her husband’s rule, and men should avoid the seductress, for she is evil. Until the 1950s, these rules provided a framework for dating. 

In a more contemporary time, another best-selling book called, The Rules, offers guidelines to “capture the heart of Mr. Right,” including: don’t talk to a man first, only casual kissing on the first date, wait at least three dates for sex. While these rules work for some women, they don’t empower all women to be who they are, and in such cases, they don’t attract Mr. Right, but Mr. Right for these Rules. 

The best rules are your own. These rules define what’s appropriate for you on a date. They reflect your true and healthy nature, guide you to act honestly, and empower self-responsibility and acceptance of the outcome. With your rules, you feel good about yourself during and after the date, whether you meet Mr. Right or not.

For example, if your rule permits French kissing on the first date, but he doesn’t call afterwards, he’s not a jerk, and you’re not a floozie. You did what you wanted to do, acted in a way that is natural for you, and enjoyed the intimacy and adventure of it. He didn’t take advantage of you, he accepted your invitation. Feel good about it!

As time goes on, should your rule for French kissing no longer reflect who you are, it is okay to change it.

Game is on! Write the code of your own ethics, be true to yourself, and maybe you’ll meet someone who syncs with your rules. And you’ll have fun playing in the meantime.