A Face to Love
As a young girl, Justine Bateman appreciated the natural beauty of older women and was enamored by older actresses of European cinema, including Charlotte Rampling and Jeanne Moreau. She thought their dark circles, crow’s feet, and wrinkles made them look exotic and complex. She admired their poise and confident attitudes. So, when wrinkles appeared on Justine’s cheeks when she smiled, she was ecstatic. Now she would look exotic, complex, and more attractive.
Unfortunately, the press didn’t share her perspective. As a popular actress who rose to fame in the 1980s, Justine’s maturing appearance became a target of negative commentary. The unkind words about her looks not only shook her to her core, but it also woke her up to our culture’s messed-up ideas around aging and beauty. Even worse, she began to realize just how much women in our culture base their value on their appearance.
Justine set out to change the consciousness of aging and beauty and authored Face: One Square Foot of Skin. This collection of fictional vignettes, based on interviews with real women as young as age 27, captures our culture’s obsession with youthful perfection and its negative effects on the minds and spirits of women of all ages. Individual stories describe the fear of looking older, the disdain of so-called ‘flaws’, and the shame of being viewed as old. Each relatable account touches a visceral nerve and helps us to evaluate our own standards of beauty. We begin to see that we’ve bought into unrealistic ideals, and we have allowed them to override our own personal power.
Luckily Face also includes stories of women who say “screw you” to what others think. They wear their wrinkles and dark spots as badges of honor. They demonstrate that self-love, confidence, and acceptance are true beauty.
I’m with Justine. It’s time to reject unrealistic beauty standards and devise our own. We can release old, embedded reactions and judgments toward appearances, and develop new perspectives toward aging and beauty.
Following is a list of “must release” attitudes that will help you to feel your most beautiful and powerful:
· Release the notion that imperfections are ugly. They aren’t. They’re the interesting marks of your incredible and unique life that tell the story of you.
· Release feelings of dismay when you see a new wrinkle or change in your face or body. Instead, examine it as a biological marker of your progress through life. It’s a natural, beautiful sign of your many experiences. Be proud of your beauty marks and be excited that you’re still alive with an amazing life to live.
· Release your harsh judgment toward the looks of other women. Examine why you feel the way you do. Is it your truth? Or did you buy into society’s standard? And view the thing you judge with an objective, open mind. Are her looks really that off-putting? Can you see a deeper beauty?
· Release the inclination to become a shrinking violet as you age. Instead, become bolder, wilder, more alive! You’ve got a long life to live and you’ll be most alive when you are you. Who cares what anyone else thinks about it!
· Resist the fear of aging. Instead, focus on treating your body as the delicate and miraculous machine it is. Take steps to be as healthy as possible, so that you remain strong, vibrant, and alive. Being a strong presence on the planet will help you forget that you’re getting older.
· Release the urge to flip a birdie at someone who makes a disparaging comment about a woman’s looks. Instead, respond with a comment to defend her beauty and promote her looks as her superpower.
We are the leaders of a new standard of aging and beauty. Love your face and every inch of who you are and be a role model for others. You’re beautiful - no matter what they say!