Inner Peace equals Drama Free
I’ve created a life that is peaceful and overflowing with curiosity-satisfying adventures and enriching relationships. I love my life!
What my life doesn’t include is angst-creating, turmoil-provoking people or events. And even if I’m subjected to these types of influences, I’m able to remain centered and maintain an existence of calm laced with joy.
I admit I haven’t always been this way. When I was younger, my life was fraught with drama. I wasn’t a typical “drama queen” who hungered for attention or stirred up trouble, but I did pursue a lifestyle that kept me ungrounded and in upheaval a lot of the time. I lived on the financial edge, constantly worried about money and scraping by with multiple, simultaneous jobs. I was attracted to men who couldn’t commit to a healthy relationship and whose actions (or lack thereof) often triggered rages that involved the throwing of objects or hitting myself (yes, myself, with my fists or hairbrush). I moved to a different location every year, sometimes in the same city, in an effort to find my “perfect place” or to run away from a crappy relationship. My self-worth was below low and I didn’t realize how it was affecting my life.
One day, after plunging to the self-esteem bottom, I was guided into a New Age bookstore where I discovered a world of consciousness and spirituality. I began to read mind-opening books and pursued the wisdom of spiritual teachers, and eventually, I did the work to process negative beliefs about myself. I became more self-loving, stronger, and clearer. I began to surf the waves of life with more intelligence and with a firmer grasp of who I was. Eventually, life’s craziness faded and harmony took over.
Living a drama-free life became a priority for me, and over the years of I realized a major lesson: a peaceful life starts within. Our feelings of self-love and centeredness are reflected in our external worlds as ease and grace. Inner tranquility is the antidote to outer turmoil.
I wish for everyone to experience a daily life that consists of peace and joy. For those who suffer from stress and messy lives, I offer a few tips that may contribute to a calmer world. These tips aren’t entirely “New Agey”, and are easy, practical and doable right now.
1) Know yourself and stick to your values and boundaries. So often we do things that are at odds with our standards to make others happy. This can spark an inner conflict that affects your peace of mind, your present moment, and possibly your entire future. Knowing your truth and loving yourself enough to stick with what is important to you will help you resist potential drama and remain in a state of peace and harmony. The same goes with boundaries. Saying ‘no’ to the things that don’t enhance your life is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself and is the elixir for a drama-free and peaceful life.
2) Create order in your home. Just as your inner can affect your outer, your environment can influence the state of your emotions. Per the principles of feng shui, the Eastern practice of arranging the environment to create harmonious energy, an orderly house order attracts peace and allows positive energy to flow through. When I feel overwhelmed or confused by a project, I’ll stop everything, organize my desk and then return to the task with more confidence and clarity. By neatening up your home, or clearing a small space that you can claim as your sanctuary, you can lessen the chaos and increase tranquility.
3) List your stressors. Overwhelm of the mind can lead to massive stress in the body. To help ease your mental strain, take 10 minutes to write a list of all of the sources of your strife. The process of writing itself is effective at calming your emotions. Seeing an inventory of your burdens can help you become more clear on the urgency (or insignificance) of an issue, and this helps to alleviate your body’s “fight or flight” responses, and may even help you perceive your issues with clarity so that you may deal with them more efficiently.
4) Ask for help. If you’re drowning in a maelstrom of responsibility and fear, send out an SOS. Friends are great for support, however, you may need to supplement your team with resources, such as organizations, agencies and professionals who are equipped with the information and services you need to get your head above water and guide you to sunnier shores. Sometimes it takes a pro to lift you out of the whirlpool and place you into smooth waters.
5) Release what causes angst: people, projects, jobs, etc. The Dalai Lama said, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” Yes, sometimes it’s difficult to say goodbye to an old friend, no matter how toxic, or unplug from an overwhelming job that has been paying you for years, but if your quality of life demands calmness for your joy and harmony, it’s time to let go. It doesn’t have to be an instant disconnection (as this may cause major drama), but rather can involve a series of small steps toward a final separation. The serenity that follows is your reward for moving on.
6) Remember to look at the good things. Once I looked over my old journals and read page after page of all the bad things that were “happening to me.” There was little mention of the fun things I was doing or the amazing projects I was creating. No wonder I remained in a desperate cycle of drama! I burnt those journals. As we move through the day and meet our challenges, it’s vital to also greet the good in our lives. Acknowledging our blessings will help us to cope with upheavals and also prime us to create and attract the things that bring peace and joy.
7) Dissolve your anger by forgiving. Here’s a big one. Your resentment toward someone doesn’t hurt them, it hurts you. Buddha said, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Feelings of pissed-offness toward someone can obliterate your inner peace and fester as a dark space in your soul. It may take time to process and forgive someone who violated you, yet taking the steps to forgive and release them from your psyche will help bring peace to your world.
8) Create a mindset that fortifies you for the onslaught. If it’s impossible to remove yourself from a relationship or situation that provokes turmoil, then muster your most powerful inner-warrior goddess to change your attitude and carry on. As Maya Angelou said, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Maya should know; she survived violence and sexual abuse as a young woman and became one of the world’s most celebrated spiritual leaders. You, too, have inside of you the strength and will to power through the storm.
We have only one life. Why not do what you can to create an idyllic life of beauty that leads to fulfillment, creativity and joy? I hope these tips help.